Sunday, December 13, 2009

5 months later.

My Mom has been gone five months as of 109 this afternoon. 5 months....otherwise known as a lifetime. I have lived through some of the toughest and longest days of my life. At times, I have thought I wasn't going to make it. At times, I haven't wanted to make it. But, considering Mom would be pissed at me if I quit anything, I haven't. To say that priorities have shifted is an understatement.

This past week was a challenge. Dad went for another trip to the Cath Lab and ended up with another stent. It all went well and he is certainly feeling better. I am sure that most of that is from the emotional relief of knowing what the issue is and that it was fixed. And, as I said in my last post, my aunt's cancer has returned. And, on Friday, they figured out that she has a PE and DVT.....again. She has had them before, which is how they found the cancer the first time. But, luckily, she already had a filter in which will prevent a stroke. She's back on blood thinner injections and has won herself a lifetime supply of Coumadin. It's not a fun drug to be on....but if it keeps you here, then you do it.

I started back to the gym hard core this week. I had been doing a really good job at going before I had surgery and then had to take 2 mandatory weeks off after my operation. So, after the stress of this week, I got myself back there. And, because it is me, it's not like I bothered to ease back into it. Go hard or go home seems to be my theory. I am more committed to the gym these days than I ever have been. Yes, I do want to lose a little more weight. However, the more important aspect of me going to the gym is for health and fitness. I come from an ever lengthening line of rotten illnesses in my gene pool. So, I am going to do what I can to get my weight down, TRY to keep my blood pressure down, and get myself back in really good shape. My gene pool is conspiring against me so I must do what I can to try and modify it's conspiracy. And, I also have a pretty big goal in mind for next year....but I will talk about that soon.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day too. I am headed to where my Mom is buried to decorate for Christmas. That's a really odd thought. I NEVER imagined that I would be decorating my Mom's grave for Christmas at 29 years old. I am making something pretty simple....classy....with a little sparkle of course. I figure I will have a latte with her and decorate. I would much rather than she and I were sharing those lattes together but I guess that wasn't God's plan.

Despite the fact that I am not a fan of God's master plan right now, I am doing my best to do His work. I tell people I love them. I honor my Mom's memory every day in some way. I do the things that are important to me and ignore the one's that aren't. I snuggle my Dogs and kiss my wonderful husband. I send cards and emails to those that I love so they know how much I love them. And, I do what I can to take care of my Dad.

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