Sunday, January 24, 2010

Feeling her presence

For months, I have struggled with the giant void.  I have heard countless times that 'your Mom is with you' and that 'she is always watching over you.'  Not that I disagree with those sentiments...I don't.  I just haven't really gotten the feeling that she was anywhere near me.  That changed a little bit today.

Today was my first Sunday on the Altar Guild at church.  I was a little nervous.  There are so many terms and little things that must be done just right...and I am a perfectionist.  However, the ladies that I was working with today made me feel exceptionally welcome.  I think they are glad to have a little 'young blood' in the group.  And, I am excited to meet some of the pillars of the congregation.

After the Peace during the service, it was my job to go up to the choir loft and wait to assist people after Communion.  So, I patiently waited off in the side room where one half of the congregation exits after the Eucharist.  As I was standing there, I began to recognize some very familiar chords on the organ.  Chords that were so familiar they brought me to tears as I am standing there trying to help unstable parishioners.  The all too familiar hymn was Bread of Life.  It was one of my Mom's favorites and mine as well.  We sang it at our wedding and exactly one month later at my Mom's service.

Maybe it was just happenstance that song was the Communion hymn today.  I would like to think that wasn't true at all.  I think that was my Mom's way of saying hello and recognizing that I was now part of the Altar Guild.  I know that would have made her proud.


  1. How neat, Ann! This sent chills through me. I've shared with you my stories of feeling my Mom and my Dad. And I do believe it. I'd like to think that God has kept them busy when you don't feel anything for so long.;)

  2. I love that song too. We played it at my grandmother's funeral and every time I hear it, I feel her nearby. Maybe it just reminds me of her, either way even though I cry when I hear it, it makes me happy.