I never imagined.....

that it would hurt this badly.  I never knew before the last 5.5 months that you could have so much emotional pain that your heart hurt.  I had that feeling the day my Mom died and I have that same feeling today.  I thought that if I just stayed home and acted like it wasn't Christmas that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  I have never been so desperately wrong in  my entire life.  With all of the beautiful words I know and am capable of weaving into a paragraph, I can't even begin to describe these feelings.